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Archive-name: tv/mash/guide Last-modified: 1994/10/20 Posting-Frequency: Monthly M*A*S*H FAQ: Episode Guide =========================== This is a list of episodes for CBS's television series M*A*S*H. Also included are original network airdates, writers, directers, and guest stars. Original guide (titles, writers, directors) by Doug Krause <dkrause@uci.edu> Airdates and reording by Samuel H. Edwards <edwards@pond.com> Production codes by Tim Tompkins <timt@a3197tt.ssr.hp.com> Season 1 to 3 summaries by Troy Wood <tdwood@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> Season 4 to 8 summaries by Dean A. Dunn <dadunn@whale.st.usm.edu> Season 9 to 11 summaries by Samuel H. Edwards <edwards@pond.com> Final episode summary from "M*A*S*H The Exclusive, Inside Story of T.V.'s Most Popular Show" (included without permission) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Season 1 (1972 - 1973) Regular Cast - Alan Alda, Gary Burghoff, Larry Linville, Wayne Rogers, McLean Stevenson, Loretta Swit 1. M*A*S*H -- The Pilot Episode (J-301) September 17, 1972 Written by Larry Gelbart Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Karen Philipp, Patrick Adiarte, G. Wood, Timothy Brown, Linda Meiklejohn, Laura Miller, George Morgan The Swamp's Korean houseboy, Ho John, is accepted to attend school at Hawkeye's alma mater. The camp raises to send Ho John to Maine by raffling a weekend in Tokyo with a nurse, much to the chagrin of Hot Lips and Burns. The winner? Father Mulcahy! 2. To Market, To Market (J-303) September 24, 1972 Written by Burt Styler Directed by Michael O'Herlihy Guest Stars: G. Wood, Robert Ito, Jack Soo, John C. Johnson After the 4077th supply of hydrocortisone is hijacked by black market- eers, Hawkeye and Trapper concoct a deal with a local black marketeer (Jack Soo) to get some more. The catch: Henry's antique oak desk, which is whisked away by chopper as Henry watches in disbelief. 3. Requiem for a Lightweight (J-308) October 1, 1972 Written by Bob Klane Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: Marcia Strassman, Sorrell Booke, Mike McGirr Trapper enters the intercamp boxing tournament to save a beautiful nurse (Marcia Strassman) from being transferred out by Henry, at Hot Lips' request. 4. Chief Surgeon Who? (J-307) October 8, 1972 Written by Larry Gelbart Directed by E. W. Swackhamer Guest Stars: Linda Meiklejohn, Jack Riley, Sorrell Booke, Timothy Brown, Odessa Cleveland, Jamie Farr Frank and Hot Lips fume when Hawkeye is named chief surgeon over Frank. They call up a general (Sorell Booke) who arrives in camp only to encounter Klinger (his first appearance of the series), declares the camp nuts and Hawkeye a genius. 5. The Moose (J-305) October 15, 1972 Written by Laurence Marks Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: Paul Jenkins, Virginia Lee, Craig Jue, Barbara Brownell, Patrcik Adiarte, Tim Brown Hawkeye ends up winning a Korean girl as servant from the sergeant who purchased her. The girl, unfortunately, has a hard time understanding Hawkeye when he attempts to set her free. 6. Yankee Doodle Doctor (J-310) October 22, 1972 Written by Laurence Marks Directed by Lee Philips Guest Stars: Ed Flanders, Bert Kramer, Herb Voland The camp makes a film in response to one made about the 4077th at the request of a brigadier general. Guest appearance by Ed Flanders. 7. Bananas, Crackers, and Nuts (After Me, the Deluge) (J-311) November 5, 1972 Written by Burt Styler Directed by Bruce Bilson Guest Stars: Stuart Margolin After being denied R&R, Hawkeye fakes insanity, causing many problems for the psychiatrist (Stuart Margolin) sent to study him. 8. Cowboy (J-309) November 12, 1972 Written by Bob Klane Directed by Don Weis Guest Stars: Billy Green Bush, Alicia Bond, Rick Moses, Joe Corey Henry refuses to let a chopper pilot go home, and the pilot feels there is no alternative but to kill Henry. 9. Henry, Please Come Home (J-302) November 19, 1972 Written by Laurence Marks Directed by William Wiard Guest Stars: G. Wood Due to the great success rate of the 4077th, Henry is transferred to administrative duty in Tokyo. Hawkeye and Trapper convince Radar to fake an illness to get Henry to return. 10. I Hate a Mystery (J-306) November 26, 1972 Written by Hal Dressner Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: Bonnie Jones, Linda Meiklejohn Hawkeye plays detective when he becomes the chief suspect in a stealing epidemic. His sleuthful work leads him to the guilty party, none other than Ho John (who still hasn't left for Maine). 11. Germ Warfare (J-304) December 10, 1972 Written by Larry Gelbart Directed by Terry Becker Guest Stars: Robert Gooden, Karen Philipp, Byron Chung Hawkeye plays Dracula when he steals a pint of Frank's blood. When he suspects Frank of hepatitis, he works frantically (with Radar and Trapper) to keep him away from everyone, including Hot Lips. 12. Dear Dad (J-313) December 17, 1972 Written by Larry Gelbart Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Bonnie Jones, Lizabeth Deen, Gary Van Orman Hawkeye writes his dad, describing the antics of the 4077th--including Mulcahy convincing Klinger not to kill himself. For the finale, Hawkeye goes to the front dressed as Santa to help save a wounded soldier. 13. Edwina (J-312) December 24, 1972 Written by Hal Dresner Directed by James Sheldon Guest Stars: Arlene Golonka, Linda Meiklejohn, Marcia Strassman The nurses go to extremes to find a date of Nurse Eddie (Edwina)--they won't go out with anyone until Eddie gets a date. The men draw straws, and Hawkeye is the big loser, especially after Eddie nearly kills him in a scene resembling teenage "mating" rituals. :) 14. Love Story (J-314) January 7, 1973 Written by Laurence Marks Directed by Earl Bellamy Guest Stars: Kelly Jean Peters, Indira Danks, Barbara Brownell Radar gets a "Dear John" letter. To help cheer him up, Hawkeye and Trapper try to help him with a new nurse who's into classical literature and music. Radar's "Ahhhh, Bach!" and "That's highly significant," quotes win him a friend in the nurse. 15. Tuttle (J-315) January 14, 1973 Written by Bruce Shelly and David Ketchum Directed by William Wiard Guest Stars: Herb Voland, Mary-Robin Redd, James Sikking Hawkeye and Trapper, with Radar's help, invent a fictitious Capt. Tuttle so that his salary can be donated to help a local orphanage. Almost caught by James B. Sikking of Hill St. and Doogie Howser fame, Hawkeye must sorrowfully tell the camp of Tuttle's fate to the whole camp--he leaped from a chopper without a parachute. 16. The Ringbanger (J-316) January 21, 1973 Written by Jerry Mayer Directed by Jackie Cooper Guest Stars: Leslie Neilsen, Linda Meiklejohn A colonel (Leslie Nielsen) with a high casualty record in the object of the attention of Hawkeye, Trapper, and Radar, who conspire send him home before he gets anyone else killed. 17. Sometimes You Hear the Bullet (J-318) January 28, 1973 Written by Carl Kleinschmitt Directed by William Wiard Guest Stars: James Callahan, Ronny Howard, Lynette Mettey Hawkeye is confronted with death when he is unable to save an old journalist friend (James Callahan) who is killed on the front. The death spurs Hawkeye to send an underaged soldier (Ron Howard) home. Meanwhile, Frank throws out his back and applies for a Purple Heart. 18. Dear Dad...Again (J-317) February 4, 1973 Written by Sheldon Keller and Larry Gelbart Directed by Jackie Cooper Guest Stars: Alex Henteloff, Gail Bowman, Odessa Cleveland Hawkeye tells his dad of the cooling romance between Frank and Hot Lips and Radar's correspondance corse. 19. The Longjohn Flap (J-319) February 18, 1973 Written by Alan Alda Direct by William Wiard Guest Stars: Kathleen King, Joseph Perry Hawkeye gets a pair of longjohns from home. Feeling sorry for Trapper, who has a cold, he gives him the longjohns, which pass into the hands of most of the camp before getting back in Hawkeye's hands. 20. The Army-Navy Game (J-322) February 25, 1973 Written by Sid Dorfman Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Alan Manson, David Doyle, Tom Richards The camp tunes-in to the Army-Navy football game, only to get bombed and left with an unexploded shell in the compound. When they try to defuse the CIA bomb,it explodes--with American propaganda leaflets. 21. Sticky Wicket (J-321) March 4, 1973 Written by Laurence Marks and Larry Gelbart Directed by Don Weis Guest Stars: Wayne Bryan, Lynette Mettey, Bonnie Jones Hawkeye and Frank argue over Frank's ability as a surgeon. Then one of Hawkeye's patients starts failing, Hawkeye starts reflecting about his own abilities. 22. Major Fred C. Dobbs (J-320) March 11, 1973 Written by Sid Dorfman Directed by Don Weis Guest Stars: Harvey J. Goldenberg A silly episode where Frank, who threatens transfer, is convinced to stay when hears Hawkeye and Trapper say they discovered gold. The joke's on Frank when he finds, amongst other things, a gilded jeep! 23. Ceasefire (J-323) March 18, 1973 Written by Laurence Marks Directed by Earl Bellamy Guest Stars: Herb Voland The camp receives word that there's a ceasefire and erupts into celebration, only to have their hopes shattered when wounded arrive. 24. Showtime (J-324) March 25, 1973 Written by Robert Klane and Larry Gelbart Directed by Jackie Cooper Guest Stars: Joey Forman, Harvey Goldenberg, Stanley Clay, Sheila Lauritsen, Oksun Kim An entertainer performs for the camp in the compound. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Season 2 (1973 - 1974) Regular Cast - Alan Alda, Gary Burghoff, Larry Linville, Wayne Rogers, McLean Stevenson, Loretta Swit 25. Divided We Stand (K-401) September 15, 1973 Written by Larry Gelbart Directed by Jackie Cooper Guest Stars: Anthony Holland Gen. Clayton assigns a psychiatrist Capt. Hildebrand (Anthony Holland) to examine the 4077th. Henry tells them to be on their best behavior, or else they will be split up. But the 4077th soon begins to act in their traditional, inane ways. 26. 5 O'Clock Charlie (K-403) September 22, 1973 Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Norman Tokar Guest Stars: Norman Tokar An inept N. Korean pilot's bombings of (near) the camp become a spectator sport. Frank complains that the pilot should be shot down, but it isn't until Gen. Clayton's jeep is bombed until any action is taken. 27. Radar's Report (K-402) September 29, 1973 Written by Laurence Marks Directed by Jackie Cooper Guest Stars: Joan Van Ark, Allan Arbus, Tom Dever Klinger's girl back home wants to marry, Hawkeye flirts with a nurse (Joan Van Ark), and all the goings on are reported to the Army in Radar's weekly report. 28. For the Good of the Outfit (K-404) October 6, 1973 Written by Jerry Mayer Directed by Jackie Cooper Guest Stars: Frank Aletter The accidental shelling of the S. Korean village of Tai Dong gets Hawkeye and Trapper's attention. While the Army accepts no responsibility, they do plan to rebuild the village, with its own soft ice cream maker! 29. Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde (K-405) October 13, 1973 Written by Alan Alda and Robert Klane Directed by Jackie Cooper Guest Stars: Jackie Cooper Hawkeye is on duty for 3 days straight, and decides to send the 4077th's latrine to N. Korea. 30. Kim (K-407) October 20, 1973 Written by Marc Mandel, Larry Gelbart, and Laurence Marks Directed by William Wiard Guest Stars: Leslie Evans, Edgar Raymond Miller, Ray Poss, Maggie Roswell, Momo Yashima Trapper becomes very attached to an apparently orphaned little Korean boy named Kim, and wants to adopt him--that is, if he doesn't get blown to bits in the minefield. 31. L.I.P. (Local Indigenous Personnel) (K-406) October 27, 1973 Written by Carl Kleinschmitt Directed by William Wiard Guest Stars: Corinne Camacho, Burt Young, Jerry Zaks Hawkeye, Trapper, and Radar blackmail a lt. with a few pranks to allow Cpl. Walker to marry a local Korean girl. 32. The Trial of Henry Blake (K-408) November 3, 1973 Written by McLean Stevenson, Larry Gelbart, and Laurence Marks Directed by Don Weis Guest Stars: Hope Summers, Robert F. Smimon, Jack Aaron Houlihan and Burns challenge Col. Blake's fitness to command, and it is up to Nurse Meg Cratty to come to the rescue. 33. Dear Dad...Three (K-409) November 10, 1973 Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Don Weis Guest Stars: Mills Watson, Sivi Aberg, Arthue Abelson A bigoted sergeant seeking the right-"colored" blood learns a lesson in prejudice from the 4077th. 34. The Sniper (K-410) November 17, 1973 Written by Richard M. Powell Directed by Jackie Cooper Guest Stars: Teri Garr, Marcia Gelman, Dennis Troy A lone sniper has the 4077th pinned down--including Radar and Henry in the shower. The poor boy thinks he's firing on McArthur's headquarters, and a chopper finally comes by and wounds him with gunfire from above, ending the seige. 35. Carry On, Hawkeye (K-411) November 24, 1973 Written by Bernard Dilbert, Larry Gelbart, and Laurence Marks Directed by Jackie Cooper Guest Stars: Lynette Mettey, Gwen Farrell, Marcia Gelman Hawkeye is the only doctor not struck down by the flu bug. Houlihan must inject him in the ass with a flu shot! 36. The Incubator (K-412) December 1, 1973 Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Jackie Cooper Guest Stars: Robert F. Simon, Logan Ramsey, Vic Tayback Hawkeye and Trapper battle the Army in their efforts to get a badly needed incubator for the 4077th. 37. Deal Me Out (K-413) December 8, 1973 Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Pat Morita, Allan Arbus, Edward Winter, John Ritter The weekly poker game is interrupted when Radar hits the infamous Whiplash Wang with a jeep. Pat Morita guests as one of the poker players. A wounded soldier (John Ritter) getting counseling from Sidney Freedman (Alan Arbus) wants to kill Frank. Edward Winter appears as Captain Hallorin. 38. Hot Lips and Empty Arms (K-414) December 15, 1973 Written by Linda Bloodworth and Mary Kay Place Directed by Jackie Cooper Guest Stars: Jackie Cooper Maj. Houlihan decides to dump Frank and requests a transfer. 39. Officers Only (K-415) December 22, 1973 Written by Ed Jurist Directed by Jackie Cooper Guest Stars: Robert F. Simon, Robert Weaver, Clyde Kusatsu Hawkeye and Trapper save Gen. Mitchell's son, and they get an officer's club as a reward--well, sort of an officer's club. 40. Henry in Love (K-416) January 5, 1974 Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Don Weis Guest Stars: Katherine Baumann, Odessa Cleveland, Sheila Lauritsen Henry falls in love with Nancy Sue Parker, a former cheerleader from the Ohio State University :) while in Tokyo. Hawkeye, Trapper, and Radar try to prevent Henry from letting his marriage go up in smoke over her. 41. For Want of a Boot (K-417) January 12, 1974 Written by Sheldon Keller Directed by Don Weis Guest Stars: Michael Lerner, Suzanne Zenor, Johnny Kaymer A riotous episode in which Hawkeye will do anything to get a new pair of boots. In order to get Zale to get him some, he must get an appointment for Zale with Futterman, the camp dentist, who will only do it if Henry will give him a pass to Tokyo, and Henry will only grant the pass if Houlihan will get off his back, which she will do only if the guys throw a party for Frank's birthday with a cake, and Radar will only help get the cake if he gets a date with Nurse Murphy, who will only date someone with a hair dryer, and Klinger won't give up the hair dryer unless he gets a section 8 (and Frank won't sign). The deal falls through, much to the chagrin of Hawkeye. 42. Operation Noselift (K-418) January 19, 1974 Written by Erik Tarloff Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: Stuart Margolin Hawkeye and Trapper arrange for an unauthorized nosejob for an unlisted man with a huge schnozz (Mulcahy concurs). But Hawkeye's cohort who agrees to do the job has other interests, mainly bagging a nurse. 43. The Chosen People (K-419) January 26, 1974 Written by Laurence Marks, Sheldon Keller, and Larry Gelbart Directed by Jackie Cooper Guest Stars: Pat Morita, Clare Nono, Dennis Robertson, Jay Jay Jue, Jerry Fujikawa The local Koreans provide interesting scenarios for the 4077th. 44. As You Were (K-420) February 2, 1974 Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: Patricia Stevens The 4077th has no wounded for several days, until they start pouring in again. 45. Crisis (K-421) February 9, 1974 Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Don Weis Guest Stars: Jeff Maxwell, Alberta Jay Supply lines to the 4077th are cut. Consequently, the personnel must find ways to deal with the shortages. 46. George (K-422) February 16, 1974 Written by John Regier and Gary Markowitz Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Richard Ely, George Simmons In an episode that would fit the headlines in 1993, Burns tries to slap a dishonorable discharge on a decorated soldier who admits to being a homosexual. 47. Mail Call (K-423) February 23, 1974 Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Dennis Troy, Sheila Lauritsen The arrival of a new batch of mail makes Trapper depressed and he wants to desert, despite Hawkeye's efforts otherwise. Meanwhile, Hawkeye learns he has successfully tricked Frank into buying stocks in the fictitious company, Pioneer Aviation. 48. A Smattering of Intelligence (K-424) March 2, 1974 Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Larry Gelbart Guest Stars: Edward Winter, Bill Fletcher A classic episode in which Col. Flagg and another secret agent from another intelligence agency come to the 4077th to keep their eyes on one another and the camp. Hawkeye and Trapper trick them both into thinking that Burns is a traitor--one thinks he's a facist, the other thinks he's a communist. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Season 3 (1974 - 1975) Regular Cast - Alan Alda, Gary Burghoff, Larry Linville, Wayne Rogers, McLean Stevenson, Loretta Swit 49. The General Flipped at Dawn (B-308) September 10, 1974 Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum Directed by Larry Gelbart Guest Stars: Harry Morgan (!!!), Jamie Farr, Bill Christopher, Lynnette Mettey, Theodore Wilson, Brad Trumbull, Dennis Erdman In a stunning performance that won him a role as Col. Potter, Harry Morgan guests as loony General Bartford Hamilton Steele. Even Klinger thinks Gen. Steele is nuts when he mistakes Klinger for his wife, Marjorie. Morgan won an Emmy for his performance in this episode. 50. Rainbow Bridge (B-301) September 17, 1974 Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, Bill Christopher, Mako, Leland Sun, Bobbie Mitchell, Loudon Wainwright III As Hawkeye and Trapper are planning to leave for Tokyo, an unusual offer to swap POW patients between the Chinese and the 4077th comes in. Henry, after much debate, agrees to send Hawk, Trap, Burns, Radar, and Klinger into enemy territory. Burns almost botches the swap when he brings a squirt gun to the exchange. Fortunately, the Chinese Dr. Lin Tam has a sense of humor (he went to U. of Illinois, after all). 51. Officer of the Day (B-307) September 24, 1974 Written by Laurence Marks Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, Bill Christopher, Edward Winter, Dennis Troy, Jeff Maxwell, Jerry Fujikawa, Tad Horino, Richard Lee Sung, Mitchell Sakamoto, Norman Hamano, Mary Katherine Peters, Tom Lawrence While Henry is away in Seoul, Burns and Houlihan are in charge, and Hawkeye is the officer of the day. His refusal to release a wounded Korean wanted by US Intelligence leads to a confrontation with Col. Flagg. 52. Iron Guts Kelly (B-304) October 1, 1974 Written by Larry Gelbart and Sid Dorfman Directed by Don Weis Guest Stars: James Gregory, Keen Curtis, Bobbie Mitchell, Byron Chung, Alberto Jay, Jeff Maxwell, Dennis Troy General Iron Guts Kelly dies inconviently in Houlihan's tent (perhaps the excitement was too much?!), so his aide sets out to make it appear as if the general has died gloriously in battle. 53. O.R. (B-306) October 8, 1974 Written by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, Bill Christopher, Allan Arbus, Odessa Cleveland, Bobbie Mitchell, Bobby Herbeck, Orlando Dole, Jeanne Schulherr, Roy Goldman, Leland Sun The OR is filled with more wounded than the unit can handle. Dr. Freedman drops in during the deluge as well. 54. Springtime (B-303) October 15, 1974 Written by Linda Bloodworth and Mary Kay Place Directed by Don Weis Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, Bill Christopher, Alex Karras, Mary Kay Place, Greg Mabrey, Kelleye Nakahara, Gwen Farrell, Pat Stevens, Roy Goldman, Jeff Maxwell When spring arrives, Klinger gets word from home that his sweethart back in Toledo wants to marry him. Father Mulcahy (with help from Radar) arranges to do this over short wave radio (?). Radar falls in love with a nurse, while a grateful patient won't leave Hawkeye alone--even threatens Maj. Burns. 55. Check-Up (B-312) October 22, 1974 Written by Laurence Marks Directed by Don Weis Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, Patricia Stevens, Jeff Maxwell Trapper gets an ulcer and a ticket home. Unfortunately, his going-away party is spoiled by a new Army regulation which forces him to stay. 56. Life With Father (B-302) October 29, 1974 Written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: Bill Christopher, Sachiko Penny Lee Mail from home worries Henry that Lorraine may be seeing other men. Father Mulcahy presides over a Jewish circumcision ceremony for the Korean-born son of a US GI. 57. Alcoholics Unanimous (B-314) November 12, 1974 Written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, Bobbie Mitchell, William Christopher Henry's departure to Tokyo leaves Maj. Burns in charge of the 4077th. He declares total prohibition of alcohol, which leads to a near riot amongst the camp (especially from Hawkeye and Trapper). 58. There is Nothing Like a Nurse (B-309) November 19, 1974 Written by Larry Gelbart Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, Loudon Wainwright III, Bill Christopher, Bobbie Mitchell, Molli Benson, Jeanne Schulherr, Leland Sun The nurses are evacuated when the threat of an enemy parachute drop arises. Hawkeye and Trapper try to enliven everyone's spirits with them gone. 59. Adam's Ribs (B-316) November 26, 1974 Written by Laurence Marks Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Basil Hoffman, Joe Stern, Jeff Maxwell A riotous episode! Hawkeye, driven near insanity, starts a riot in the mess tent after several weeks of "a river of liver and an ocean of fish." To spice up their diets, Hawkeye, Trapper, and Radar scheme to get spare ribs sent to the 4077th from Chicago. The ribs arrive, just in time for the arrival of wounded. 60. A Full Rich Day (B-311) December 3, 1974 Written by John D. Hess Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, William Watson, Sirri Murad, Curt Lowens, Michael Keller, Kelleye Nakahara Hawkeye records a letter to his dad, detailing the exploits of a mad Turkish soldier who calls Hawkeye a "damn good Joe," the unfortunate loss of the corpse of a Luxembourg soldier (who turns out not to be dead), and of a gun-happy officer. 61. Mad Dogs and Servicemen (B-317) December 10, 1974 Written by Linda Bloodworth and Mary Kay Place Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: Michael O'Keefe, Shizuko Hoshi, Arthur Song, Jeff Maxwell, Bobbie Mitchell Radar is bitten by a local dog, and the camp conducts a search to find the pooch so that Radar doesn't have to undergo a series of painful rabies vaccinations. Hawkeye defies Frank to take care of a GI who's suffering from a case of hysterical paralysis. 62. Private Charles Lamb (B-310) December 31, 1974 Written by Larry Gelbart and Sid Dorfman Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: Ted Eccles, Titos Vandis, Gene Chronopoulos A Greek feast at the camp is foiled when soft-hearted Radar saves the main course from the spit--a lamb, whom Radar tricks Henry into giving a medical discharge and sends home to Ottumwa. Thus, Hawkeye and Trapper invent the famed Spam Lamb! 63. Bombed (B-320) January 7, 1975 Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, William Christopher, Louisa Moritz, Edward Marshall The camp is under fire and is swamped with wounded. Maj. Burns is driven with jealousy of Trapper into proposing to Houlihan. 64. Bulletin Board (B-323) January 14, 1975 Written by Larry Gelbart Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, William Christopher, Johnny Haymer, Patricia Stevens, Kelleye Nakahara Camp activities include Henry's nervous delivery of a sex lecture (while Hawkeye and Trapper heckle), a Shirley Temple movie, and a cookout. 65. The Consultant (B-318) January 21, 1975 Written by Larry Gelbart and Robert Klane Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: William Christopher, Robert Alda, Joseph Maher, Tad Horino Dr. Borelli visits to demonstrate his artery transplant technique. Unfortunately, being so close to the front at the 4077th causes Borelli's drinking problem to interfere at the worst time--when a patient needs the transplant. 66. House Arrest (B-315) February 4, 1975 Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, William Christopher, Mary Wickes, Bobbie Mitchell, Jeff Maxwell, Dennis Troy, Kelleye Nakahara Hawkeye hits Maj. Burns and Houlihan is a witness, despite Hawkeye and Trapper's claims that it wasn't intentional. A female colonel is sent to investigate Burns' allegations. When she cries "Rape!" when Burns visits her tent, Houlihan recants her story, and Burns, not Hawkeye, ends up under house arrest. 67. Aid Station (B-322) February 11, 1975 Written by Larry Gelbart and Simon Muntner Directed by William Jurgensen Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, William Christopher, Tom Dever Hawkeye, Houlihan, and Klinger go to an aid station at the front. Working closely together under heavy fire and unsanitary medical conditions, the three return to camp with new found respect for one another. 68. Love and Marriage (B-321) February 18, 1975 Written by Arthur Julian Directed by Lee Philips Guest Stars: Soon-Tek Oh, Johnny Haymer, Dennis Dugan, Jerry Fujikawa, Pat Li, Bob Gruber, Jeanne Joe, William Christopher Hawkeye and Trapper prevent one GI from marrying a call girl who has TB, while trying to set up another Korean soldier join his pregnant wife (with Radar's help of course). 69. Big Mac (B-313) February 25, 1975 Written by Laurence Marks Directed by Don Weis Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, Graham Jarvis, Loudon Wainwright III, Bob Courtleigh, Jeanne Schulherr The camp prepares for a visit from General MacArthur. Klinger dresses as the Statue of Liberty as the General's jeep drives through the camp. Mac Arthur is so impressed, he salutes! 70. Payday (B-305) March 4, 1975 Written by John Regier and Gary Markowitz Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, Bill Christopher, Jack Soo, Eldo Quick, Johnny Haymer, Mary Katherine Peters, Bobbie Mitchell, Jeff Maxwell, Leland Sun, George Holloway, George Simmons, Pat Marshall Payday arrives, bringing lots of 18204 for Hawkeye (for claiming he wasn't getting what he should because of the war). Burns buys his wife a pearl necklace, and gives the fakes to Houlihan. Trapper finally wins a huge poker pot after stealing Hawk's watch, only to see the loot vanish to save Hawkeye's neck (since he gave his windfall to the orphanage). 71. White Gold (B-319) March 11, 1975 Written by Larry Gelbart and Simon Muntner Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, William Christopher, Edward Winter, Hilly Hicks, Stafford Repp, Michael A. Salcido, Danil Thorpe Colonel Flagg blows into camp trying to obtain penicillin to barter for information. But Flagg comes down with appendicitis, and the only penicillin he gets is in the keister. 72. Abyssinia, Henry (B-324) March 18, 1975 Written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell Directed by Larry Gelbart Guest Stars: Jamie Farr, William Christopher, Kimiko Hiroshige, Virginia Lee, Cherylene Lee, Ray Poss A classic! Henry finally gets his discharge. While Henry is tying things up, Burns prepares for his new command. Henry bids a tearful adieu, but not before Klinger turns up in an outrageous tropical outfit (and gets Henry to zip him up) and a kiss to Houlihan. He gives Radar a hug and his last order: "You better be good now or I'm gonna come back and kick your butt!" In the traumatic and shocking last scene, Radar announces that Henry has been killed when his plane was shot down over the Sea of Japan. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Season 4 (1975 - 1976) Regular Cast - Alan Alda, Gary Burghoff, Larry Linville, Mike Farrell, Harry Morgan, Loretta Swit, Jamie Farr 73. Welcome to Korea (G-504-506) September 12, 1975 Written by Everett Greenbaum, Jim Fritzell, and Larry Gelbart Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Robert A. Karnes, Arthur Song, Shirlee Kong Frank's dream is realized--he's in charge, but Hawkeye is unchanged -- he skips camp, runs a blockade to find Trapper, who's gone, and welcomes a new surgeon, B.J. Hunnicutt. (1 Hour Show) 74. Change of Command (G-501) September 19, 1975 Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: None Frank settles in as commanding officer, only to have a new one appointed over his head, one that to his chagrin fits in very well. 75. It Happened One Night (G-502) September 26, 1975 Written by Larry Gelbart and Simon Muntner; story by Gene Reynolds Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Christopher Allport, Darren O'Connor A freezing night, an artillery barrage that's coming too close, a patient going downhill, and Frank's searching Hot Lips' tent for his letters. 76. The Late Captain Pierce (G-507) October 3, 1975 Written by Glen Charles and Les Charles Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Richard Masur, Eldon Quick When Hawkeye's father is notified that he's dead, he finds it's no easy matter either to get word to him or to establish that he's alive. 77. Hey, Doc (G-510) October 10, 1975 Written by Rich Mittleman Directed by William Jurgensen Guest Stars: Frank Marth, Bruce Kirby, Ted Hamilton Quid pro quo at the 4077th: two bottles of Scotch for secret surgery, a tank to scare off snipers for an unauthorized shot of penicillin. 78. The Bus (G-512) October 17, 1975 Written by John D. Hess Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Soon Teck Oh Radar, driving Hawkeye and others back from a medical meeting, gets lost and stalls the bus, but all are saved by a surrendering Korean (Soon- Teck Oh). 79. Dear Mildred (G-505) October 24, 1975 Written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: None While Potter writes home, Frank and Hot Lips have a wood carving made for him and Radar rescues a horse and makes him a present of it. 80. The Kids (G-511) October 31, 1975 Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Ann Doran, Mitchell Sakamoto, Huanani Minn The 4077th plays host to kids bombed out of their orphanage, and at the same time has to deliver a baby and care for battle casualties. 81. Quo Vadis, Captain Chandler? (G-513) November 7, 1975 Written by Burt Prelutsky Directed by Larry Gelbart Guest Stars: Allan Arbus, Edward Winter, Alan Fudge Intelligence officer Flagg (Edward Winter) and psychiatrist Sidney Freedman (Allan Arbus) grapple for the fate of a wounded officer (Alan Fudge) who says he's Jesus Christ. 82. Dear Peggy (G-509) November 11, 1975 Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Ned Beatty, Dennis Troy B.J. writes home to his wife, reporting Klinger's escape attempts, the visit of a formidable chaplain (Ned Beatty), and one of Frank's goof-ups. 83. Of Moose and Men (G-503) November 21, 1975 Written by Jay Folb Directed by John Erman Guest Stars: Johnny Haymer, Lois Foraker, Jeff Maxwell Hawkeye tangles with a tough Army colonel (Tim O'Conner), B.J. helps a GI (Johnny Haymer) who's gotten a "Dear John," and Frank looks endlessly for Korean saboteurs. 84. Soldier of the Month (G-514) November 28, 1975 Written by Linda Bloodworth Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Johnny Haymer Frank has a fever and makes a will leaving all his money to his wife and all his clothes to Hot Lips. 85. The Gun (G-517) December 2, 1975 Written by Larry Gelbart and Gene Reynolds Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Warren Stevens A wounded colonel's gun, a showpiece, disappears, and Hawkeye and B.J. play a hunch and bluff Frank, who has it, into returning it. 86. Mail Call Again (G-518) December 9, 1975 Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum Directed by George Tyne Guest Stars: None Mail brings a letter to Frank saying his wife is divorcing him, and one to Potter telling him he's going to be a grandfather. 87. The Price of Tomato Juice (G-519) December 16, 1975 Written by Larry Gelbart and Gene Reynolds Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: James Jeter Radar gets the help of Hawkeye and B.J. to procure something Colonel Potter says he's fond of but that's hard to come by--tomato juice. 88. Dear Ma (G-515) December 23, 1975 Written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Redmond Gleeson, Byron Chung, John Fujioka Radar writes home to his mother, as Hawkeye conducts the camp foot inspection and Colonel Potter gets some shrapnel in his backside. 89. Der Tag (G-522) January 6, 1976 Written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Joe Morton, John Voldstad, George Simmons, William Grant Potter decides Frank would be less of a pain if the others were more friendly to him; they oblige, with some startling results. 90. Hawkeye (G-520) January 13, 1976 Written by Larry Gelbart and Simon Muntner Directed by Larry Gelbart Guest Stars: Philipp Ahn, Shizuko Hoshi, Susan Sakimoto When Hawkeye is injured in a jeep accident and, aware he has a concussion, babbles to a Korean family to keep himself awake. 91. Some 38th Parallels (G-521) January 20, 1976 Written by John Regier and Gary Markowitz Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: George O'Hanlon, Lynette Mettey, Richard Lee Sung, Ray Poss Frank tries to distinguish himself by selling the camp garbage, but it's Hawkeye who finds a use for it: he dumps it on a troublesome colonel (George O'Hanlon, Jr.). 92. The Novocaine Mutiny (G-523) January 27, 1976 Written by Burt Prelutsky Directed by Harry Morgan Guest Stars: Ned Wilson, Johnny Haymer, Patricia Stevens Frank has Hawkeye up on charges of mutiny for various infractions when Potter was away on leave and Frank was the C.O. 93. Smilin' Jack (G-508) February 3, 1976 Written by Larry Gelbart and Simon Muntner Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Robert Hogan, Dennis Kort, Michael A. Salcido, Alba Francesca The 4077th turns up a sick helicopter pilot (Robert Hogan) who doesn't want to quit and a twice-wounded GI (Dennis Kort) who does. 94. The More I See You (G-524) February 10, 1976 Written by Larry Gelbart and Gene Reynolds Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Blythe Danner, Mary Jo Catlett Hawkeye is reunited with a woman (Blythe Danner) he thought was out of his life forever, but who never altogether leaves. 95. Deluge (G-516) February 17, 1976 Written by Larry Gelbart and Simon Muntner Directed by William Jurgensen Guest Stars: None A sudden deluge of wounded at the 4077th is followed by a fire and a rainstrom to make matters difficult for the staff. 96. The Interview (G-525) February 24, 1976 Written by Larry Gelbart Directed by Larry Gelbart (His final episode) Guest Stars: Clete Roberts A stateside television correspondent (Clete Roberts) interviews M*A*S*H personnel. (in Black & White) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Season 5 (1976 - 1977) Regular Cast - Alan Alda, Gary Burghoff, Larry Linville, Mike Farrell, Harry Morgan, Loretta Swit, Jamie Farr, William Christopher 97. Bug Out (U-801-802) September 21, 1976 Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Ricahrd Lee Sung, Frances Fong, Don Eitner, Barry Cahill, Peter Zapp, James Lough, Eileen Saki, Ko-Ko Tani After a rumor grows out of proportion, the 4077th moves out, assured that the Chinese are about to attack. Hawkeye, B.J., and Hot Lips remain behind as they are in the middle of critical surgery. All is well when the Chinese are pushed back and the camp returns. (one hour show) 98. Margaret's Engagement (U-803) September 28, 1976 Written by Gary Markowitz Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: None Margaret, calling from Tokyo, holds the camp in suspense until she returns with the news of her engagement to Lieutenant Colonel Donald Penobscott. Frank Burns takes the news hard and arresta a Korean family as spies. 99. Out of Sight, Out of Mind (U-806) October 5, 1976 Written by Ken Levine and Davis Isaacs Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Tom Sullivan, Judy Farrell, Enid Kent, Dudley Knight, Michael Cedar While fixing a stove that explodes, Hawkeye's face is badly burned. His eyes are bandaged, and it is not known if he will ever see again. Meanwhile Frank bets on the outcome of a baseball game which he has already heard on the radio. After much tension in the camp the bandages come off, and happily, Hawkeye can see again. 100. Lt. Radar O'Reilly (U-805) October 12, 1976 Written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell Directed by Alan Rafkin Guest Stars: Sandy Kenyon, Johnny Kaymer, Raymond Chao After an offer of promotion made by Master Sergeant Woodruff at a poker game, Radar is promoted to the rank of lieutenant. Finding this position awkward, Radar opts to return to his position as an enlisted man. 101. The Nurses (U-809) October 19, 1976 Written by Linda Bloodworth Directed by Joan Darling Guest Stars: Linda Kelsey, Gregory Harrison, Mary Jo Catlett, Carol Lawson Locatell, Patricia Sturges When Hot Lips confines Nurse Baker (Linda Kelsey) to her quarters, little does she know that Baker's husband (Gregory Harrison) has arrived in the camp. Hawkeye and B.J. put them together in Hot Lips' tent, tell- ing everyone that a quarantined patient has been placed there. When Hot Lips discovers what has happened, she breaks down and refuses to press charges. 102. The Abduction of Margaret Houlihan (U-808) October 26, 1976 Written by Allan Katz and Don Reo; story by Gene Reynolds Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Edward Winter, June Kim, Le Quynh, Susan Bredhoff After hearing that North Korean prisoners have been released in the area, everyone is upset when Margaret disappears. Colonel Flagg (Edward Winter) is called in and bungles things in his usual manner. Finally Hot Lips returns, after helping in the birth of a Korean baby. 103. Dear Sigmund (U-810) November 9, 1976 Written by Alan Alda Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Allan Arbus, Charles Frank, Bart Breverman, Sal Viscuso, J. Andreww Kenny, Jennifer Davis Major Sidney Freedman (Allan Arbus), feeling depressed, visits the 4077th to observe how they fare under the pressures of war. He begins a letter to Sigmund Freud as a form of self-therapy. Freedman releases his tension in the form of a practical joke with B.J., aimed at Frank Burns. 104. Mulcahy's War (U-812) November 16, 1976 Written by Richard Cogan Directed by George Tyne Guest Stars: Brian Byers, Ric Mancini, Richard Foronjy, Ray Poss After Frank discovers that Danny Fitzsimmons has shot himself to get out of combat, Father Mulcahy is called in. Realizing his lack of under- standing of the fighting, Mulcahy accompanies Radar to an aid station where they encounter the front. Mulcahy performs an emergency tracheotomy guided by Hawkeye on the radio. 105. The Korean Surgeon (U-814) November 23, 1976 Written by Bill Idelson Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Soon Tech Oh, Robert Ito, Larry Hama, Richard Russell Ramos, Dennis Troy When Syn Paik (Soon-Teck Oh), a North Korean surgeon, arrives with some wounded, he is passed off as a South Korean by Hawkeye and B.J., but to no avail. Hot Lips and Frank try to convince Potter that Paik is a spy. Paik, Hawkeye, and B.J. agree that it would be in the interest of all for Syn to leave. 106. Hawkeye Get Your Gun (U-813) November 30, 1976 Written by Jay Folb; story by Gene Reynolds and Jay Folb Directed by William Jurgensen Guest Stars: Mako, Richard Doyle, Jae Woo Lee, Thomas Botosan, Phyllis Katz, Carmine Scelza After 24 hours of surgery, Hawkeye and Potter venture off to a Korean hospital to lend a hand. Hawkeye is appalled to learn that he must carry a gun. After helping the Koreans, they are shelled on the way back. They scramble from the jeep before it is shelled, and Potter urges Hawkeye to shoot in self-defense, against Hawkeye's will. 107. The Colonel's Horse (U-811) December 7, 1976 Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: None While Colonel Potter goes to Tokyo on R & R, his horse develops colic, Klinger becomes chronically depressed, and Hot Lips gets appendicitis. The horse is flushed out with a hose, Hawkeye and B.J. perform an appendectomy on Hot Lips, and all are well when Potter returns, except Klinger. Potter offers Klinger a discharge for severe depression, and Klinger gets very excited, which loses him the discharge. 108. Exorcism (U-815) December 14, 1976 Written by Jay Folb; story by Gene Reynolds and Jay Folb Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Virginia Ann Lee, James Canning, Phillip Ahn After Potter orders Radar to move a Korean spirit post believed to ward off evil spirits, things mysteriously begin to go wrong. When an old Korean man (Philip Ahn) is brought into camp for medical attention, he refuses surgery unless the end spirits in the camp are exorcised. A priestess is brought in who exhibits her dance and her bells and chants. All is well, and Radar returns the spirit post to its original position. 109. Hawk's Nightmare (U-804) December 21, 1976 Written by Burt Prelutsky Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Allan Arbus, Patricia Stevens, Sean Roche After Hawkeye bemoans the young age of the wounded, he appears to develop problems. Sleepwalking and bad dreams, according to Dr. Sidney Freedman (Allan Arbus), are taking Hawkeye back to a simple time, but the horrors of war continue to intrude. After assurance by Dr. Freedman that he is as sane as can be, Hawkeye's life once again seems to settle down. 110. The Most Unforgettable Characters (U-818) January 4, 1977 Written by Ken Levine and David Isaacs Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Jeff Maxwell Radar gets accepted to the "Famous Las Vegas Writers School" and begins to write his impressions of the camp. It happens to be Frank's birthday, so Hawkeye and B.J. stage a fight with each other to make Frank happy. 111. 38 Across (U-821) January 11, 1977 Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Dick O'Neill, Oliver Clark Befuddled by a crossword puzzle, Hawkeye persuades Potter to get his old friend Tippy Brooks (Oliver Clark), a whiz at puzzles, brought to camp. Tippy arrives from his aircraft carries with his commanding officer (Dick O'Neill) amidst many casualties, and provides the needed solution to the puzzle. 112. Ping Pong (U-817) January 18, 1977 Written by Sid Dorfman Directed by William Jurgensen Guest Stars: Richards Narita, Frank Maxwell, Sachiko Penny Lee Lieutenant Colonel Harold Becket (Roy Goldman) lies wounded in post-op waiting to get back to the front for thirty more days of combat duty to get his promotion. Meanwhile, Cho Lin (Richard Narita), the Ping Pong champ, is engaged to Soony (Sachiko). He leaves to get her a ring, when he is conscripted by the South Korean army. He arrives at the 4077th as a wounded soldier, and after being patched up he is married at the camp. 113. End Run (U-816) January 25, 1977 Written by John D. Hess Directed by Harry Morgan Guest Stars: Henry Brown, Johnny Haymer Billy Tyler (Henry Brown), a young black sergeant, is brought into camp with a bullet wound in the leg. He is a football player, and when he discovers that his leg has been amputated, he wants to die. After talks with Radar, Billy agrees that he must live on. 114. Hanky Panky (U-822) February 1, 1977 Written by Gene Reynolds Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Ann Sweeney Nurse Carrie Donovan (Ann Sweeny) receives a "Dear Jane" letter from her husband and practically falls apart. B.J. consoles her, and they spend the night together. Feelings of guilt come over B.J. until he discusses them with Donovan and the air is cleared. 115. Hepatitis (U-823) February 8, 1977 Written by Alan Alda Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Barbara James Father Mulcahy comes down with infectious hepatitis while B.J. performs a very difficult operation and Hawkeye deals with a psychosomatic back pain. 116. The General's Practitioner (U-807) February 15, 1977 Written by Burt Prelutsky Directed by Alan Rafkin Guest Stars: Edward T Binns, Leonard Stone, Suesie Elene In the midst of Hawkeye's being considered, much to his distaste, as a general's personal physician, Radar becomes a surrogate father to a Korean woman (Suesie Elene) and her baby, until the baby's GI father (Larry Wilcox) returns. 117. Movie Tonight (U-824) February 22, 1977 Written by Gene Reynolds, Don Reo, Allan Katz, and Jay Folb Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Enid Kent, Judy Farrell, Jeffrey Kramer As a cure for the increased tension at the 4077th, Potter gets a film ("My Darling Clementine") and makes a social event out of it. As the film continues to break, tensions rise, until Mulcahy plays the piano, Radar does his impersonations, and everyone acts out scenes from the film. 118. Souvenirs (U-819) March 1, 1977 Written by Burt Prelutsky; story by Burt Prelutsky and Reinhold Weege Directed by Joshua Shelley Guest Stars: Michael Bell, Brian Dennehy, Scott Mulhern Korean children and American soldiers are often badly wounded when they hunt for souvenirs which the enemy has booby-trapped. Potter asks for it to stop, and Hawkeye and B.J. put a local junk dealer (Brian Dennehy) out of business. 119. Post Op (U-825) March 8, 1977 Written by Ken Levine and David Isaacs; story by Gene Reynolds and Jay Folb Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Hilly Hicks, Sal Viscuso, Andy Romano In the midst of a deluge of patients and their individual medical histories, the 4077th is out of blood. Everyone in camp is donating blood at 48-hour intervals when a truckload of Turkish soldiers arrive to offer their blood and save the day. 120. Margaret's Marriage (U-820) March 15, 1977 Written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell Directed by Gene Reynolds Guest Stars: Beeson Carroll, Judy Farrell, Lynne Marie Stewart, Ray Poss, Kellye Nakahara Prompted by pressure from Frank, Hot Lips sets a date for marriage with Lieutenant Colonel Donald Penobscott. When Donald (Beeson Carroll) arrives in camp for the wedding, a bridal shower and bachelor party are given. When he has passed out drunk, Hawkeye and B.J. place Donald in a body cast and convince him that he has broken his leg. The ceremony is performed and Donald and Hot Lips leave for a week's honeymoon in Tokyo. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Season 6 (1977 - 1978) Regular Cast - Alan Alda, Gary Burghoff, David Ogden Stiers, Mike Farrell, Harry Morgan, Loretta Swit, Jamie Farr, William Christopher 121. Fade Out, Fade In (Y-101-102) September 20, 1977 Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: James Lough, Raymond Singer, Tom Stovall, Rick Hurst, Robert Symonds, William Flatley, Joseph Burns, Barbara James After Margaret leaves for her honeymoon, Frank becomes very distraught, so Potter sends him on R & R. All throughout a deluge of casualties, the 4077th receives reports of a Frank Burns gone berserk. Potter calls Tokyo and requests a replacement surgeon. Major Charles Emerson Winchester III (David Ogden Stiers) is assigned to the 4077th. Frank Burns is apprehended, promoted, and transferred to a VA hospital in Indiana. Winchester is made a permanent part of the 4077th staff. (one hour show) 122. Fallen Idol (Y-104) September 27, 1977 Written by Alan Alda Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Frances Fong, Robin Riker, Larry Gilman, Roy Goldman At Hawkeye's suggestion, Radar goes to Seoul to find a woman at the Pink Pagoda. Radar never gets there because of shelling along the way, and is flown to the 4077th. Hawkeye, feeling tremendous guilt, is unable to perform an operation to save Radar, and is replaced by Potter. Hawkeye and Radar have a falling out as they lose respect for each other's actions. All is well in the end as Hawkeye pins a Purple Heart on Radar after he has recuperated. 123. Last Laugh (Y-103) October 4, 1977 Written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell Directed by Don Weis Guest Stars: James Cromwell, Robert Karnes, John Ashton Madness strikes as B.J. and his old friend Bardonaro (James Cromwell) play a series of practical jokes on each other as Bardonaro is about to leave Korea. 124. War of Nerves (Y-106) October 11, 1977 Written by Alan Alda Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Allan Arbus, Michael O'Keefe, Peter Reigert The 4077th, caught up in tension and nerves, creates a bonfire to release their pressure. Meanwhile Sidney Freedman is depressed by a soldier (Peter Riegert) who blames him for his injuries because Freedman had sent him back into combat. 125. The Winchester Tapes (Y-107) October 18, 1977 Written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Thomas Carter, Kimiko Hiroshige Hawkeye tries unsuccessfully to get to Seoul to see a Nurse Gilmore for the weekend. Meanwhile, Winchester has taped a letter home asking for his influential parents to help get him back to the States. To get even, Hawkeye and B.J. switch Winchester's clothes, causing Winchester to alter his eating patterns. 126. The Light That Failed (Y-108) October 25, 1977 Written by Burt Prelutsky Directed by Chrales S. Dubin Guest Stars: Enid Kent, Gary Erwin, Philip Baker Hall With supplies low, the 4077th gets a truckload of ice cream churns and salt tablets. B.J. receives a mystery novel that everyone in camp reads in turn. The last pate is missing and the solution to the mystery is undiscovered until B.J. calls the author by long distance. 127. In Love and War (Y-112) November 1, 1977 Written by Alan Alda Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Kieu Chinh, Susan Krebs, Soorah Ahn, Enid Kent Hawkeye falls in love with Kyong Soon (Kieu Chinh), a Korean woman who is caring for her sick mother and orphaned children. All hope is lost as Kyong takes her possessions and the children to the south after her mother has died. 128. Change Day (Y-113) November 8, 1977 Written by Laurence Marks Directed by Don Weis Guest Stars: Phillip Ahn, Noel Toy, Glenn Ash, Richard Lee Sung Charles plots a scheme to get rich when he discovers that blue scrip is going to be exchanged for red scrip. Hawkeye and B.J. outsmart him, and he is left holding the worthless scrip. 129. Images (Y-105) November 15, 1977 Written by Burt Prelutsky Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Susan Blanchard, Larry Block, John Durren Radar notices a number of tattoos on one of the wounded and convinces himself that with a tattoo he will be irresistible to women. Everyone tries to discourage him, and he admits to having received a tattoo that will wash off. 130. The M*A*S*H Olympics (Y-111) November 22, 1977 Written by Ken Levine and David Isaacs Directed by Don Weis Guest Stars: Mike Henry, Michael McManus Realizing how out of shape the 4077th is, Potter decides to hold a camp Olympic competition. The winning team gets a three-day pass, so everyone is excited. Donald Penobscot (Mike Henry) arrives and is allowed to substitute for an ailing Klinger. Hawkeye's team wins, and B.J. must then chauffeur Hawkeye around in a wheelchair for a week. 131. The Grim Reaper (Y-110) November 29, 1977 Written by Burt Prelutsky Directed by George Tyne Guest Stars: Charles Aidman, Jerry Hauser, Kellye Nakahara Colonel Victor Bloodworth (Charles Aidman) predicts that 280 wounded will arrive at the 4077th. Hawkeye is antagonized by Bloodworth and shoves him against a wall. Bloodworth presses for a court martial until he becomes one of the wounded and watches Hawkeye saving a soldier's (Jerry Houser) life. Realizing Hawkeye's value as a doctor, Bloodworth drops all charges. 132. Comrades in Arms (Part 1) (Y-116) December 6, 1977 Written by Alan Alda Directed by: Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Jon Yune, James Saito Lost behind enemy lines, Hawkeye and Margaret form a personal truce and seek shelter in a roadside hut. 133. Comrades in Arms (Part 2) (Y-117) December 13, 1977 Written by Alan Alda Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Jon Yune, James Saito, Doug Rowe Margaret and Hawkeye seek solace from enemy fire in each other's arms and end up, briefly, as lovers. 134. The Merchant of Korea (Y-118) December 20, 1977 Written by Ken Levine and David Isaacs Directed by William Jurgensen Guest Stars: Johnny Haymer After Charles hands B.J. two hundred dollars, he begins to take advan- tage. Everyone gets together and persuades Charles to play poker. He has incredible beginner's luck until Radar discovers that Charles whistles loud- ly when he bluffs. They all win back their money and then some. 135. The Smell of Music (Y-115) January 3, 1978 Written by Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum Directed by Stuart Miller Guest Stars: Jordan Clarke, Nancy Steen, Lois Foraker, Richard Lee Sung Charles plays a French horn and drives Hawkeye and B.J. crazy. They refuse to bathe until the French horn playing is stopped. Meanwhile Potter saves the life of a suicidal patient (Jordan Clarke). The camp collectively hoses down Hawkeye and B.J. while Margaret has a soldier run over the French horn with a jeep. 136. Patient 4077 (Y-114) January 10, 1978 Written by Ken Levine and David Isaacs Directed by Harry Morgan Guest Stars: Keye Luke, Brenda Thomson, Harry Gold, Pat Stevens In need of a special surgical clamp, Hawkeye and B.J. hire Mr. Shin (Keye Luke), a local jewelry dealer, to make the clamp. Days later the clamp is used to save the leg of a wounded soldier. 137. Tea and Empathy (Y-109) January 17, 1978 Written by Bill Idelson Directed by Don Weis Guest Stars: Bernard Fox, Neil Thompson, Sal Viscuso With British and American casualties heavy, the 4077th's supply of peni- cillin has been stolen. Father Mulcahy discovers the location of some penicillin, and he and Klinger go out in search of it. They are shot at, but safely return with the drug and save the day. 138. Your Hit Parade (Y-124) January 24, 1978 Written by Ronny Graham Directed by George Tyne Guest Stars: Ronny Graham, William Kux, Ken Michelman With the arrival of a shipment of records, Radar plays the part of a disc jockey and helps to get everyone through the incredibly long deluge of wounded. 139. What's Up, Doc? (Y-119) January 30, 1978 Written by Larry Balmagia Directed by George Tyne Guest Stars: Charles Frank, Lois Foraker, Kurt Andon Hot Lips, believing herself to be pregnant, asks Hawkeye to test her. The only rabbit available is Radar's pet Fluffy. Hawkeye promises not to kill the rabbit while performing the test. Meanwhile, Greenleigh (Charles Frank), a patient, holds Charles and B.J. at gunpoint, demanding to be sent back to Ohio. Greenleigh collapses from loss of blood, and Hot Lips isn't pregnant. 140. Mail Call Three (Y-121) February 6, 1978 Written by Everett Greenbaum and Jim Fritzell Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Oliver Clark, Jack Grapes, Carmine Scelza, Terri Paul After a delay of three weeks, five sacks of mail arrive, and everyone in camp reacts to good and bad news from home. Hawkeye receives love letters addressed to Benjamin Pierce (Oliver Clark), B.J.'s wife has been approached by another man, and Radar's mom has found a boyfriend. 141. Temporary Duty (Y-125) February 13, 1978 Written by Larry Balmagia Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: George Lindsey, Marcia Rodd With a temporary transfer of personnel between the 4077th and the 8063rd, Hawkeye is replaced by Captain Roy Dupree (George Lindsey). Fear- ing this to be permanent, Charles and B.J. successfully conspire to have Dupree permanently removed from the 4077th. 142. Potter's Retirement (Y-120) February 20, 1978 Written by Laurence Marks Directed by William Jurgensen Guest Stars: George Wyner, Peter Hobbs, Ken White Potter is upset when General Kent informs him that people in the 4077th are complaining about his leadership. Potter returns to camp and discovers that the complaints are coming from a Corporal Joe Benson (Peter Hobbs) sent by a disturbed Colonel Frank Webster (George Wyner) who has been wounded some months earlier. 143. Dr. Winchester and Mr. Hyde (Y-122) February 27, 1978 Written by Ken Levine, David Isaacs, and Ronny Graham Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Chris Murney, Joe Tornatore, Ron Max, Rod Gist Charles takes amphetamines to keep up his energy level, and even drugs Radar's mouse so that it will win a race against a Marine's mouse. 144. Major Topper (Y-123) March 27, 1978 Written by Allyn Freeman Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Hamilton Camp, Andrew Bloch, Donald Blackwell, Peter Zapp, Paul Linke, John Kirby, Michael Mann, Kellye Nakahara With the possibility of contaminated morphine, the doctors at the 4077th administer placebos to the patients which seem to work. Meanwhile, a new soldier (Hamilton Camp) is released on a Section Eight. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Season 7 (1978 - 1979) Regular Cast - Alan Alda, Gary Burghoff, David Ogden Stiers, Mike Farrell, Harry Morgan, Loretta Swit, Jamie Farr, William Christopher 145. Commander Pierce (T-404) September 18, 1978 Written by Ronny Graham Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: James Lough, Andrew Massett, Jan Jorden Hawkeye undergoes a drastic change when he becomes temporary commander of the 4077th and learns about the tedious bureaucracy and accompanying headaches that Colonel Potter deals with daily. 146. Peace On Us (T-401) September 25, 1978 Written by Ken Levine and David Isaacs Directed by George Tyne Guest Stars: Kevin Hagen, Hugh Gillan Hawkeye becomes so disgusted with the stalled Panmunjon peace talks that he impulsively takes matters into his own hands and goes to the meetings to lend a hand. 147. Lil (T-406) October 2, 1978 Written by Sheldon Bull Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Carmen Matthews, W. Perren Page Colonel Potter strikes up a warm friendship with the visiting Eighth Army head nurse, Colonel Lil Rayburn (Carmen Matthews), a regular Army type of his own age and interests. But Radar reacts huffily, thinking his commanding officer has more than just friendship on his mind. 148. Our Finest Hour (T-408-409) October 9, 1978 Written by Ken Levine and David Isaacs, Larry Balmagia, and Ronny Graham Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Clete Roberts Newscaster Clete Roberts, reprising an earlier interview appearance, returns to update Korean War conditions when he conducts a series of tele- vision talks with the leading characters of the 4077th. (1 hour, Black & White) 149. The Billfold Syndrome (T-405) October 16, 1978 Written by Ken Levine and David Isaacs Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Kevin Geer, Allan Arbus Charles becomes so irate over a turndown for a future medical position at home that he refuses to talk to anyone in the unit, until Hawkeye and B.J. send him a false telegram from home. Meanwhile, a young soldier (Kevin Geer) can't remember his own identity, so Sidney Freedman (Allan Arbus) is called for help. 150. None Like it Hot (T-410) October 23, 1978 Written by Ken Levine, David Isaacs, and Johnny Bonaduce Directed by Tony Mordente Guest Stars: Ted Gehring, Johnny Haymer, Jan Jorden The oppressive Korean heat gets to everyone, especially Klinger, who responds to the conditions with an ingenious scheme to effect a discharge. Meanwhile, Hawkeye and B.J. are secretly gloating over their newly arrived remedy for the weather, a collapsible bathtub, until they realize that if word gets out it could spoil their fun. 151. They Call the Wind Korea (T-407) October 30, 1978 Written by Ken Levine and David Isaacs Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Tom Dever, Paul Cavonis, Randy Stumpf A strong windstorm affects the M*A*S*H personnel in varying ways: Hawkeye and most of the unit busy themselves securing items that could blow away, Radar prepares his animal hutch for the worst, while a dis- gusted Charles switches his Tokyo-leave transportation from air to ground and runs into a difficult medical situation en route to Seoul. 152. Major Ego (T-412) November 6, 1978 Written by Larry Balmagia Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Greg Mullavey, David Dean, Frank Pettinger, Phyllis Katz Charles assumes heroic proportions after reviving a dying patient with heart massage, and he becomes more insufferable than ever when a photojournalist from Stars and Stripes (Greg Mullavey) arrives to pub- licize his medical prowess. 153. Baby, It's Cold Outside (T-403) November 13, 1978 Written by Gary David Goldberg Directed by George Tyne Guest Stars: Terry Wills, Teck Murdock, David Dramer, Jan Jorden While everyone is complaining about the record cold snap, Charles becomes the most unpopular man in camp when his parents send him a winter- ized polar suit that he insists on flaunting in front of the freezing medi- cal personnel. 154. Point of View (T-415) November 20, 1978 Written by Ken Levine and David Isaacs Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Brad Gorman, Marc Baxley, Edward Gallardo, Jan Jorden, Hank Ross, David Stafford, Paul Tuerpe In this unique episode, the camera becomes the eyes of a young wounded soldier. It records his sensory responses to being wounded, flown by helicopter to the 4077th, examined, operated on, and treated in post-operation. 155. Dear Comrade (T-413) November 27, 1978 Written by Tom Reeder Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Sab Shimono, Larry Block, Robert Clotworthy Hawkeye and B.J. discover that Charles is living the life of Riley thanks to the attentions of his menially paid Korean servant (Sab Shi- mono), a man of unusual skills. He has an important contribution to make--a native remedy for a seemingly insoluble medical problem. 156. Out of Gas (T-411) December 4, 1978 Written by Tom Reeder Directed by Mel Damski Guest Stars: Justin Lord, Byron Chung, Johnny Haymer Heavy casualties are arriving, creating severe problems for the M*A*S*H unit because they are nearly out of pentothal. Mulcahy takes up a collection from everyone--including a case of wine from Charles' private supply--and he and Charles take the jeep to make a trade with the black marketeers for pentothal. 157. An Eye for a Tooth (T-414) December 11, 1978 Written by Ronny Graham Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Peter Palmer Father Mulcahy takes being passed over for promotion philosophi- cally until he hears of the rapid advancement made by a heroic heli- copter pilot. Then his uncharacteristically bold actions stun Colonel Potter and the entire company. 158. Dear Sis (T-417) December 18, 1978 Written by Alan Alda Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Lawrason Driscoll, Patrcik Driscoll, Jo Ann Thomson, W. Perren Page Father Mulcahy writes a pre-Christmas letter home to his sister, who is a nun. His frustration at not being more effective at the 4077th seems to represent the general depression of the unit's personnel as they approach the holiday season thousands of miles away from their loved ones. 159. B.J. Papa San (T-402) January 1, 1979 Written by Larry Balmagia Directed by James Sheldon Guest Stars: Dick O'Neill, Michael Aragon, Chao-Li Chi, Stephen Keep, Johnny Haymer, Richard Furukawa, Shizuko Hoshi B.J. becomes almost the surrogate father to a Korean family. Finding them a substitute for his own absent family, B.J. spends so much time with them that his medical efficiency begins to suffer, and Hawkeye worries about his health. 160. Inga (T-420) January 8, 1979 Written by Alan Alda Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Mariette Hartley, Phyllis Katz, Mark Favara It's instant attraction for Hawkeye when a beautiful Swedish doctor (Mariette Hartley) arrives to observe combat surgery. That is, until she upstages him in the operating room with a superior technique and his ego is bruised. 161. The Price (T-418) January 15, 1979 Written by Erik Tarloff Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Miko Mayama, Yuki Shimoda, Ken Mochizuki The 4077th is confronted by two crises: Colonel Potter's mare, Sophie, mysteriously disappears from her corral, and Hawkeye and B.J. find themselves with a young Korean boy on their hands who is trying to avoid conscription into the Army. 162. The Young and Restless (T-421) January 22, 1979 Written by Mitch Markowitz Directed by William Jurgensen Guest Stars: James Canning A lecture on the latest techniques by a young surgeon from Tokyo and a later demonstration of his surgical skill bring home to the resi- dent M*A*S*H surgeons that they are out of touch with new medical practices. 163. Hot Lips is Back in Town (T-419) January 29, 1979 Written by Larry Balmagia and Bernard Dilbert Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Peggy Lee Brennan, Walter Brooke, Jan Jorden Radar, who is smitten with the cute new nurse (Peggy Lee Brennan) at the hospital, relies on Hawkeye's expertise on how to cope with the situation. Hot Lips, meanwhile, celebrates her just-granted divorce by taking a step that arouses Colonel Potter's ire. 164. C*A*V*E (T-423) February 5, 1979 Written by Larry Balmagia and Ronny Graham Directed by William Jurgensen Guest Stars: Basil Hoffman, Mark Taylor, Charles Jenkins The 4077th evacuation to a nearby cave to avoid U.S. artillery fire on a Chinese target poses another hazard for Hawkeye, who has a claustro- phobia problem that Colonel Potter is unaware of. 165. Rally Round the Flagg, Boys (T-425) February 14, 1979 Written by Mitch Markowitz Directed by Harry Morgan Guest Stars: Edward Winter, Neil Thompson, Bob Okazaki The sinister Colonel Flagg (Edward Winter) pops up at the 4077th again, playing his usual spy games, convinced that Hawkeye is a commu- nist sympathizer. 166. Preventive Medicine (T-416) February 19, 1979 Written by Tom Reeder Directed by Tony Mordente Guest Stars: James Wainwright, Larry Jenkins The number of arriving wounded has increased because of a careless Colonel Lacy (James Wainwright). Hawkeye slips Lacy something to make him ill and removes his appendix under the strong protests of B.J. 167. A Night at Rosie's (T-426) February 26, 1979 Written by Ken Levine and David Isaacs Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Keye Luke, Joshua Bryant, Joseph Di Reda Hawkeye, B.J., and their medical cohorts find a new way to escape the depressing atmosphere of the war, remaining at Rosie's (Eileen Saki) Bar, much to the displeasure of Colonel Potter. 168. Ain't Love Grand (T-422) March 5, 1979 Written by Ken Levine and David Isaacs Directed by Mike Farrell Guest Stars: Kit McDonough, Sylvia Chang, Eileen Saki, Michael Williams, Judy Farrell The impossible happens for the snobbish Charles when he shares an emotional experience with Klinger, who discovers a U.S. nurse (Kit Mc- Donough) who finds him and his bizarre attire attractive, while Charles succumbs to the exotic charms of a Korean girl (Sylvia Chang) he meets at Rosie's (Eileen Saki) Bar. 169. The Party (T-424) March 12, 1979 Written by Burt Metcalfe and Alan Alda Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Burt Metcalfe Talk of a post-war reunion suggests an idea to B.J.: planning a present-day stateside gathering of 4077th families, a scheme he conti- nues to promote even under the duress of "bugging out" in the wake of a Chinese breakthrough. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Season 8 (1979 - 1980) Regular Cast - Alan Alda, David Ogden Stiers, Mike Farrell, Harry Morgan, Loretta Swit, Jamie Farr, William Christopher 170. Too Many Cooks (S-601) September 17, 1979 Written by Dennis Koenig Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: John Randolph, Ed Begley, Jr. A clumsy foot soldier (Ed Begley, Jr.) finds the quickest way to the crew's heart, boosting morale at the war-weary 4077th by cooking gourmet delights. Only Colonel Potter, burdened with a personal crisis, is immune from the high spirits enveloping the hospital. 171. Are You Now, Margaret (S-602) September 24, 1979 Written by Thad Mumford and Dan Wilcox Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Lawrence Pressman, Jennifer Davis, Jeff Maxwell A Congressional aide (Lawrence Pressman) visits the 4077th on a sup- posedly routine fact-finding tour, but it's discovered that his motives are far deeper. 172. Guerilla My Dreams (S-603) October 1, 1979 Written by Bob Colleary Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Mako, Joshua Bryant, Huanani Minn, George Kee Cheung, Marcus Mukai, Connie Izay The arrival of a wounded Korean woman sparks a conflict at the 4077th: Hawkeye wants to heal her, but a steely ROK officer (Mako) is more anxious to "question" her about alleged guerilla activities. 173. Good-Bye Radar (Part 1) (S-610) October 8, 1979 Written by Ken Levine and David Isaacs Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Marylin Jones, Johnny Haymer, Michael O'Dwyer, Richard Lee-Sung, Tony Cristmo, Arell Blanton Company clerk Radar O'Reilly (Gary Burghoff), on leave in Tokyo, is desperately needed back at the crisis-stricken 4077th, but his return is delayed by outside events. While casualties continue to pour in from the front, the 4077th's generator conks out, depriving the medical unit of all electrical power. But Klinger, filling in for the vacationing Radar, lacks the expertise and experience to wheel and deal for a new machine. 174. Good-Bye Radar (Part 2) (S-611) October 15, 1979 Written by Ken Levine and David Isaacs Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Lee de Broux, Whitney Rydbeck, David Dozer As company clerk Radar O'Reilly reluctantly prepares to depart the 4077th, the unit is still without electricity due to a broken generator, and the operating room continues to fill up with war wounded as night falls. The responsibility for procuring a new generator falls on Klinger, who lacks Radar's masterful knack of cutting through red tape in search of much-needed supplies. 175. Period of Adjustment (S-604) October 22, 1979 Written by Jim Mulligan and John Rappaport Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Jeff Maxwell, Eileen Saki, Gwen Farrell Klinger, taking over as the 4077th's new clerk, wearies of complaints about his inefficiency, while B.J.'s homesickness is intensified by news of Radar's visit to his family. 176. Nurse Doctor (S-608) October 29, 1979 Written by Sy Rosen, Thad Mumford and Dan Wilcox; story by Sy Rosen Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Alexandra Stoddart A beautiful and ambitious young nurse (Alexandra Stoddart) who plans to become a doctor when she leaves the Army finds herself in a misunder- standing with Father Mulcahy. Meanwhile, the camp's water supply is de- pleted, and the rest of the 4077th is more concerned about where to find a running shower. 177. Private Finance (S-605) November 5, 1979 Written by Dennis Koenig Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Shizuko Hoshi, Denice Kumagi, Mark Kologi, Joey Pento, Philip Simma, Art Evans A South Korean Woman misinterprets Klinger's motives when he tries to aid her daughter financially. Meanwhild, Hawkeye wrestles with his conscience over a promise made to a dying soldier. 178. Mr. and Mrs. Who? (S-606) November 12, 1979 Written by Ronny Graham Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Claudette Evans, James Keane Charles Winchester returns to the 4077th after a trip to Tokyo with an uncharacteristic hangover and the uneasy feeling of a romantic entangle- ment. Meanwhile, the hospital struggles to find a cure for an outbreak of deadly hemorrhagic fever. 179. The Yalu Brick Road (S-607) November 19, 1979 Written by Mike Farrell Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Soon Tech Oh, G.W. Bailey Hawkeye and B.J. lose their way while rushing urgently needed anti- biotics to the 4077th, which is wracked with food poisoning. Wandering back to M*A*S*H, the pair are found by a peculiar North Korean soldier (Soon-Teck Oh). 180. Life Time (S-609) November 26, 1979 Written by Alan Alda and Walter D. Dishell, M.D. Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Kevin Brophy A severely wounded soldier, rushed to the poorly equipped 4077th by chopper, will die or be permanently paralyzed if he doesn't receive major surgery in 20 minutes. Nearly all of the action in this innovative episode is compressed into the program's 25-minute running time. 181. Dear Uncle Abdul (S-613) December 3, 1979 Written by John Rappaport and Jim Mulligan Directed by William Jurgensen Guest Stars: Kelly Ward, Richard Lineback, Alexander Petale Klinger discovers that his duties as company clerk include catering to the eccentric whims of the 4077th officers. Consequently, the unusual demands by Klinger's superiors leave little time to write a letter home to Toledo. 182. Captains Outrageous (S-614) December 10, 1979 Written by Thad Mumford and Dan Wilcox Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Eileen Saki, John Orchard, Sirri Murad, G.W. Bailey, Paul Cavonis, Momo Yashima, Jo Ann Thompson A brawl at Rosie's Bar puts Rosie (Eileen Saki) in the hospital, and the 4077th doctors are pressed into service as temporary saloonkeepers. Meanwhile, Father Mulcahy is apprehensive that his long-pending promotion to captain will again be denied. 183. Stars and Stripes (S-615) December 17, 1979 Written by Dennis Koenig Directed by Harry Morgan Guest Stars: Joshua Bryant Friction arises between B.J. and Winchester when they're asked to write a report for a prestigious medical journal on how they saved a soldier's life with a daring operation. Meanwhile, Hot Lips receives an eventful visit from Scully (Joshua Bryant), her combat soldier beau. 184. Yessir, That's Our Baby (S-617) December 31, 1979 Written by Jim Mulligan Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Howard Platt, William Bogert, Yuki Shimoda, Elizabeth Farley A baby born to a Korean woman and an American GI is abandoned at the 4077th. Knowing that mixed-blood children are often mistreated in Korean society, the troop sets about the frustrating task of finding a new home for the infant. 185. Bottle Fatigue (S-618) January 7, 1980 Written by Thad Mumford and Dan Wilcox Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Shelley Long, David Hirokane, Shari Saba Horrified by the gigantic size of his monthly bar tab at the officer's club, Hawkeye vows to give up booze for a week. Meanwhile, Winchester desperately tries to halt his sister's impending marriage to a man he considers unworthy of the Winchester heritage. 186. Heal Thyself (S-616) January 14, 1980 Written by Dennis Koenig; story by Dennis Koenig and Gene Reynolds Directed by Mike Farrell Guest Stars: Edward Herrman Colonel Potter turns crotchety when he catches the mumps, and his condition is worsened when another M*A*S*H member (Winchester) gets the same disease and has to move in with him. A temporary replacement surgeon (Edward Herrmann) is quickly brought into the 4077th and seems to be a gem in terms of both personality and ability. 187. Old Soldiers (S-620) January 21, 1980 Written by Dennis Koenig Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Jane Connell, Sally Imamura, Jason Autajay Hawkeye is appointed temporary commander of the 4077th when Colonel Potter rushes off to Tokyo on a mysterious mission. While in command, Hawkeye's main problem is housing a large group of Korean refugees comprised mainly of rambunctious children who need medical care. 188. Morale Victory (S-619) January 28, 1980 Written by John Rappaport Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: James Stephens, G.W. Bailey, Connie Izay Tired of their constant complaints about the quality of recrea- tional activities at the 4077th, Colonel Potter appoints Hawkeye and B.J. as the new morale officers. Winchester's morale has already reached a new peak. He's ecstatic about his operation on a wounded soldier (James Stephens) which saved the boy's leg, leaving only "negligible" side effects--the loss of use of his arm. However, the soldier was a concert pianist before the war, so Winchester obtains music written by Maurice Ravel for a pianist that had lost a hand in World War I. 189. Lend a Hand (S-621) February 4, 1980 Written by Alan Alda Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Robert Alda, Antony Alda, Daren Kelly, Shari Saba Irritated that the 4077th is planning a "surprise" party for him, Hawkeye volunteers to go to the aid of a wounded surgeon at the front. An additional irritant to Hawkeye is the arrival of Dr. Borelli (Robert Alda), a wisecracking medical advisor with whom he habitually disagrees. (NOTE: Alda's brother Antony also appears in this episode as an ambu- lance driver). 190. Goodbye, Cruel World (S-622) February 11, 1980 Written by Thad Mumford and Dan Wilcox Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Clyde Kusatsu, Allan Arbus, Philip Burns, James, Lough, David Cramer Klinger redecorates his quarters, but the resultant ridicule he receives drives him to new heights in his efforts to get out of the Army. Meanwhile, the doctors are perplexed by the reaction of an Asian-American war hero (Clyde Kusatsu) when he's informed that he's being sent home because of his wounds, and Dr. Sidney Freedman (Allan Arbus) is called in to assist. 191. Dreams (S-612) February 18, 1980 Written by Alan Alda; Story by Alan Alda and James Jay Rubinfier Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Ford Rainey, Robin Haynes, Catherine Bergstrom, Fred Stuthman, Kurtis Sanders, Ray Lynch, Connie Izay The 4077th can't escape the Korean War, even in its dreams. Ex- hausted after two days without sleep, members of the 4077th steal away for cat naps and experience dreams that reveal their fears, yearnings and frustrations. 192. War Co-Respondent (S-624) March 3, 1980 Written by Mike Farrell Directed by Mike Farrell Guest Stars: Susan Saint James, Brad Wilkin, Calvin Levels B.J. finds himself attracted to a famous war correspondent (Susan Saint James) who has fallen in love with him. 193. Back Pay (S-625) March 10, 1980 Written by Thad Mumford, Dan Wilcox, and Dennis Koenig Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Sab Shimono, Peter Kim, Jerry Fujikawa, G.W. Bailey, Richard Herd, Roy Goldman Angered by the way civilian doctors stateside are profiting from the war, Hawkeye presents the Army with a bill for his medical services. Meanwhile, Charles reluctantly demonstrates American medical practices to three Korean medics (Sab Shimono, Peter Kim, Jerry Fujikawa). 194. April Fools (S-623) March 24, 1980 Written by Dennis Koenig Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Pat Hingle, G.W. Bailey, Roy Goldman, Jennifer Davis A no-nonsense Colonel (Pat Hingle) who is notorious as a hard- nosed disciplinarian visits the 4077th during an outbreak of April Fools' Day pranksterism. Colonel Potter tries in vain to halt the mayhem before Colonel Daniel Webster Tucker arrives in camp. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Season 9 (1980 - 1981) Regular Cast - Alan Alda, David Ogden Stiers, Mike Farrell, Harry Morgan, Loretta Swit, Jamie Farr, William Christopher 195. The Best of Enemies (Z-404) November 17, 1980 Written by Sheldon Bull Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Mako, Steven Lum A North Korean soldier forces Hawkeye to perform an emergency roadside operation on his buddy. 196. Letters (Z-403) November 24, 1980 Written by Dennis Koenig Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Richard Paul, Eileen Saki, Larry Cedar, Michael Currie, Shari Saba Members of the 4077th share their impressions of war in response to letters from fourth graders in Hawkeye's hometown. 197. Cementing Relationships (Z-401) December 1, 1980 Written by David Pollock and Elias Davis Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Joel Brooks, Alan Toy, Mel Harris A jilted Italian soldier is smitten by Margaret; and Klinger pours a cement floor in the operating room to fight the spread of germs. 198. Father's Day (Z-405) December 8, 1980 Written by Karen L. Hall Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Andrew Duggan, Jeffrey Kramer, Art LeFleur, Roy Evans Margaret has trouble pretending she's a chip of the old block when her dad, blood and guts "Howitzer" Al Houlihan, arrives for a visit. 199. Death Takes a Holiday (Z-408) December 15, 1980 Written by Mike Farrell Directed by Mike Farrell Guest Stars: G.W. Bailey, Keye Luke, Yoshiko Hoover Christmas at the 4077th finds the surgeons struggling to keep a mortally wounded soldier alive, even if it's only through the holiday. 200. A War for all Seasons (Z-409) December 29, 1980 Written by Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Carl Freed, Laurie Bate, Jeff Maxwell On New Year's Eve, the staff looks back on the highlights of 1951: The doctors invent an artificial kidney machine; Mulcahy plants a garden; and Margaret takes up knitting. 201. Your Retention Please (Z-406) January 5, 1981 Written by Erik Tarloff Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Barry Corbin, Sam Weisman, Jeff Maxwell Klinger is so depressed by news that his ex-wife plans to remarry, he reenlists for an additional six-year hitch. 202. Tell it to the Marines (Z-410) January 12, 1981 Written by Hank Bradford Directed by Harry Morgan Guest Stars: Stan Wells, Michael McGuirre, Denny Miller, James Gallery Winchester takes command during Potter's absence; and B.J. and Hawkeye try to convince the Marines to grant a hardship discharge to an immigrant soldier. 203. Taking the Fifth (Z-407) January 19, 1981 Written by Elias Davis and David Pollock Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Charles Hallahan, Judy Farrell, Margie Impert, Susan Berger Hawkeye uses a bottle of vintage wine to lure unsuspecting nurses into his den; and Potter tries to secure a different sort of anesthetic when the army threatens to ban a painkiller. 204. Operation Friendship (Z-412) January 26, 1981 Written by Dennis Koenig Directed by Rena Down Guest Stars: Tim O'Connor, Gwen Farrell Klinger saves Winchester's life when an explosion rocks the operating room; and B.J. is reluctant to reveal the extent of his injuries after the blast. 205. No Sweat (Z-402) February 2, 1981 Written by John Rappaport Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: W. Perren Page, Jeff Maxwell, Kellye Nakahara Margaret develops a case of prickly heat-just one of the in- dignities suffered by the 4077th staff during another unendurably hot night. 206. Depressing News (Z-411) February 9, 1981 Written by Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: William Bogert, David Dozer, Albert Insinnia Klinger's army newspaper reports on Hawkeye's monument to military stupidity; a giant tower made from a half million erroneously shipped tongue depressors. 207. No Laughing Matter (Z-413) February 16, 1981 Written by Elias Davis and David Pollock Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Robert Symonds, Mae Hi, Nathan Jung Hawkeye wagers that he can go a full day without a wisecrack; and Winchester finally confronts the major who exiled him to the 4077th. 208. Oh, How We Danced (Z-414) February 23, 1981 Written by John Rappaport Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Yuki Shimoda, Arlen Dean Snyder, Catherine Bergstrom, Michael Choe, Jennifer Davis Winchester is sent to inspect sanitary conditions on the front lines while the rest of the camp plans a surprise anniversary party for B.J. 209. Bottoms Up (Z-415) March 2, 1981 Written by Dennis Koenig Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Gail Strickland, Shari Saba, Kellye Nakahara One of Margaret's nurses tries to hide her severe drinking problem; and Hawkeye is scorned after a practical joke he plays on Winchester backfires. 210. The Red/White Blues (Z-416) March 9, 1981 Written by David Pollock and Elias Davis Directed by Gabriel Beaumont Guest Stars: Roy Goodman, Jeff Maxwell, Kellye Nakahara Colonel Potter nearly blows his stack when his well-intentioned colleagues mollycoddle him in order to lower his blood pressure before his upcoming physical. 211. Bless You, Hawkeye (Z-417) March 16, 1981 Written by Dan Wilcox and Thud Mumford Directed by Nell Cox Guest Stars: Allan Arbus, Barry Schwartz When Hawkeye can't stop a sneezing fit that has no apparent cause, psychiatrist Sidney Freedman digs into the surgeon's past for a clue to the unusual malady. 212. Blood Brothers (Z-421) April 6, 1981 Written by Elias David and David Pollock Directed by Harry Morgan Guest Stars: Patrick Swayze, Ray Middleton, G.W. Bailey Hawkeye is overcome by the devotion of a terminally ill GI for his critically wounded buddy. 213. The Foresight Saga (Z-422) April 13, 1981 Written by David Pollock and Elias Davis Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Rummel Mor, Philip Sterling, Jeff Maxwell The 4077th is given a gift of fresh-grown vegetables by a grateful Korean; and Potter questions the veracity of an upbeat letter from Radar. 214. The Life You Save (Z-418) May 4, 1981 Written by John Rappaport and Alan Alda Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: G.W. Bailey, Val Bisoglio After Charles is nearly felled by a sniper's bullet, he develops a philosophical obsession with death. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Season 10 (1981 - 1982) Regular Cast - Alan Alda, David Ogden Stiers, Mike Farrell, Harry Morgan, Loretta Swit, Jamie Farr, William Christopher 215. That's Show Biz (Z-419-420) October 26, 1981 Written by Elias Davis and David Pollock Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Gwen Verdon, Gail Edwards, Danny Dayton, Karen Landry, Amanda McBroom A touring USO show brings an unexpected touch of vaudeville to the 4077th when the star showgirl requires an emergency operation. (one hour) 216. Identity Crisis (Z-423) November 2, 1981 Written by Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford Directed by David Ogden Stiers Guest Stars: Dirk Blocker, Squire Fridell, Joe Pantoliano Father Mulcahy counsels a GI who is plagued by guilt. 217. Rumor at the Top (Z-424) November 9, 1981 Written by David Pollock and Elias Davis Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Nicholas Pryor, Jeff Maxwell, Roy Goldman The latest scuttlebut affects everyone's behavior when a visiting emissary is rumored to be recruiting for a new M*A*S*H unit. 218. Give 'Em Hell, Hawkeye (1-G01) November 16, 1981 Written by Dennis Koenig Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Stefan Gierasch, Ed Vasgersian, Tom Kindle Hawkeye writes a heartfelt letter to President Harry Truman to protest the continued fighting in Korea. 219. Wheelers and Dealers (1-G02) November 23, 1981 Written by Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Anthony Charnota, Tony Becker, Chris Petersen On the eve of a big poker game, B.J.'s pride is bruised when he finds out his wife is working as a waitress; and Potter takes driving lessons from Klinger. 220. Communication Breakdown (1-G03) November 30, 1981 Written by Karen L. Hall Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: James Saito, Byron Chung, Abby Nelson Winchester infuriates the camp when he hoards his stateside news- papers; and Hawkeye reunites two Korean brothers who have been fighting on opposite sides of the war. 221. Snap Judgment (1-G04) December 7, 1981 Written by Paul Perlove Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: Peter Hobbs The military police think they've solved a rash of thefts at the 4077th when they apprehend Klinger with Hawkeye's stolen camera. (part I) 222. Snappier Judgment (1-G05) December 14, 1981 Written by Paul Perlove Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: Peter Hobbs B.J. and Hawkeye resolve to clear Klinger's name after he chooses Winchester to defend him at his military court-martial. (part II) 223. 'Twas the Day After Christmas (1-G06) December 28, 1981 Written by David Pollock and Elias Davis Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Michael Ensign, Leo Lewis, Val Bisoglio To boost postyuletide morale on December 26, Potter has the officers and enlisted men exchange jobs for the day. 224. Follies of the Living - Concerns of the Dead (1-G07) January 4, 1982 Written by Alan Alda Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Kario Salem, Randall Patrick, Jeff Tyler In a fever dream, Klinger communicates with the spirit of a dead soldier who stays on to witness his own last rites. 225. The Birthday Girls (1-G08) January 11, 1982 Written by Karen L. Hall Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Jerry Fujikawa, Kellye Nakahara Margaret's birthday plans are spoiled when she and Klinger get stranded on a desolate roadside; and the surgeons assist in the delivery of a calf. 226. Blood and Guts (1-G09) January 18, 1982 Written by Lee H. Grant Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Gene Evans, Brett Cullen, Stoney Jackson Hawkeye is outraged when a sensationalistic war coorespondent reports irresponsible GI stunt as tales of military valor. 227. A Holy Mess (1-G10) February 1, 1982 Written by Elias Davis and David Pollock Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Cyril O'Reilly, David Graf, Val Bisoglio An AWOL seeks sanctuary behind Father Mulcahy's robes. 228. The Tooth Shall Set You Free (1-G11) February 8, 1982 Written by Elias Davis and David Pollock Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Tom Atkins, Jason Bernard, John Fujioka, Larry Fishburne Charles faces a tooth extraction; and the doctors suspect pre- judice when an inordinate number of black casualties are brought in from a single unit. 229. Pressure Points (1-G12) February 15, 1982 Written by David Pollock Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Allan Arbus, John O'Connell, Gene Pietragallo, William Rogers, Roy Goldman Potter sends for the army psychiatrist when he loses confidence in his surgical abilities; and Winchester loses patience with his bunkmates' sloppiness. 230. Where There's a Will, There's a War (1-G13) February 22, 1982 Written by Elias Davis and David Pollock Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Dennis Howard, Larry Ward, Jim Borelli, James Emery Hawkeye draws up a will under heavy shelling at the front lines. 231. Promotion Commotion (1-G14) March 1, 1982 Written by Dennis Koenig Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: John Matusak, Jim Reid Boyce, Deborah Harmon, Cameron Dye, Richard Fullerton Winchester, Pierce, and Hunnicutt find themselves in the sticky position of having to decide which enlisted men to recommend for promotion. 232. Heroes (1-G15) March 15, 1982 Written by Thad Mumford and Dan Wilcox Directed by Nell Cox Guest Stars: Pat McNamara, Earl Boen, Britt Leach, Matthew Falson Hawkeye is the golden boy of the world press when he treats a celebrity prize fighter for a stroke. 233. Sons and Bowlers (1-G16) March 22, 1982 Written by Elias Davis and David Pollock Directed by Hy Averback Guest Stars: Dick O'Neill, William Lucking, Roger Hampton Hawkeye anxiously awaits word on his father's stateside operation as his cohorts engage the Marines in a bowling tournament. 234. Picture This (1-G17) April 5, 1982 Written by Karen L. Hall Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: John Fujioka, Jeff Maxwell Potter's attempts to assemble the crew for a family portrait are thwarted by a feud between bunkmates Pierce, Hunnicutt, and Winchester. 235. That Darn Kid (1-G18) April 12, 1982 Written by Karen L. Hall Directed by David Ogden Stiers Guest Stars: George Presnell, John P. Ryan, Tom Kindle Klinger's goat eats the 4077th's $22,340 payroll, leaving paymaster Hawkeye holding the bag. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Season 11 (1982 - 1983) Regular Cast - Alan Alda, David Ogden Stiers, Mike Farrell, Harry Morgan, Loretta Swit, Jamie Farr, William Christopher 236. Look Me Over (1-G21) October 25, 1982 Written by Alan Alda Directed by Susan Oliver Guest Stars: Keelye Nakahara, Peggy Feury, Perry Lang, Deborah Harmon Hawkeye watched Nurse Kellye brighten a wounded GI's final moments and comes to appreciate the nurses' vital contribution to the healing process. 237. Trick or Treatment (9-B01) November 1, 1982 Written by Dennis Keonig Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: George Wendt, Richard Lineback, Andrew Clay, James Lough The 4077th Halloween party hosts an unexpected guest after Father Mulcahy works an apparent miracle during the reading of a soldier's last rites. 238. Foreign Affairs (1-G22) November 8, 1982 Written by David Pollock and Elias Davis Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Melinda Mullins, Jeefrey Tambor, Soon Teck Oh, Byron Chung The Army tries to get a North Korean pilot to defect; and Charles gets a rude shock when he falls for a French nurse with an unacceptable past. 239. The Joker is Wild (1-G24) November 15, 1982 Written by John Rappaport and Dennis Koenig Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Clyde Kusatsu, David Haid Hawkeye's guard is up when B.J. threatens to pull off the most elaborate practical joke in the compound's history. 240. Who Knew? (1-G19) November 22, 1982 Written by David Pollock and Elias Davis Directed by Harry Morgan Guest Stars: Kellye Nakahara, Enid Kent Hawkeye volunteers to deliver the eulogy for a dead nurse and belatedly discovers her deep feelings for him. 241. Bombshells (9-B02) November 28, 1982 Written by Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Gerald O'Laughlin, Allen Williams, Stu Charno Charles and Hawkeye start a rumor that Marylin Monroe plans to visit the 4077th; and B.J. feels responsible when he's unable to rescue a wounded soldier. 242. Settling Debts (1-G23) December 6, 1982 Written by Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford Directed by Mike Switzer Guest Stars: Guy Boyd, Jeff East Hawkeye and the crew surprise Colonel Potter with a party to commemorate Mildred's final payment on the couple's mortgage. 243. The Moon is Not Blue (1-G20) December 13, 1982 Written by Larry Balmagia Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Hamilton Camp, Sandy Helberg, Jan Jorden With the camp facing prohibition and a severe medical-supply shortage during another heat wave, Hawkeye resolves to lift morale by importing a racy new movie. 244. Run for the Money (9-B03) December 20, 1982 Written by Mike Farrell, David Pollock, and Elias Davis Directed by Nell Cox Guest Stars: Thomas Calloway, Mark Anderson, Phil Brock, William Schilling, Robert Alan Browne When an Olympic runner assigned to the 4077th fail to materialize, Father Mulcahy must save the camp's honor in a high-stakes footrace against the 8063rd. 245. U.N., the Night and the Music (9-B06) January 3, 1983 Written by David Pollock and Elias Davis Directed by Harry Morgan Guest Stars: George Innes, Kavi Raz, Dennis Holahan, David Packer A United Nations delegation tours the 4077th-a Swede, a Hindu, and a British officer-and each leaves a lasting effect on the men and women of the camp. 246. Strange Bedfellows (9-B07) January 10, 1983 Written by Mike Farrell Directed by Karen L. Hall Guest Stars: Dennis Dugan, Benjamin F. Wilson The 4077th faces a sleepless night as Charles's snoring keeps B.J. and Hawkeye from counting sheep; and Colonel Potter discovers that his son-in-law has had an affair. 247. Say No More (9-B08) January 24, 1983 Written by John Rappaport Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: John Anderson, Michael Horton, Chip Johnson, James Karen A military strategist refuses to accept responsibility for the war games that have mortally wounded his own son; and Margaret develops laryngitis. 248. Friends and Enemies (9-B05) February 7, 1983 Written by Karen L. Hall Directed by Jamie Farr Guest Stars: John McLiam Colonel Potter must decide whether to blow the whistle on an old army chum whose military follies are costing boys their lives. 249. Give and Take (9-B09) February 14, 1983 Written by Dennis Koenig Directed by Charles S. Dubin Guest Stars: Craig Wasson, G.W. Bailey, Derek Wong A wounded GI learns a painful lesson when he forms a recoveryroom friendship with the enemy soldier he's critically wounded. 250. As Time Goes By (9-B10) February 21, 1983 Written by Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford Directed by Burt Metcalfe Guest Stars: Rosalind Chao, G.W. Bailey, Michael Swan, Mark Herrier, Jeff Maxwell Hawkeye and Margaret encapsulate the breadth of their wartime experience when they bury souvenirs as a reminder for future generations. 251. Goodbye, Farewell and Amen February 28, 1983 Written by Alan Alda, Burt Metcalfe, John Rappaport, Thad Mumford, Dan Wilcox, David Pollock, Elias Davis, and Karen Hall Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Allan Arbus, Rosalind Chao, G.W. Bailey, Shari Saba, Jeff Maxwell, Gwen Farrell, Kellye Nakahara, Roy Goldman Although reports that the war is almost over reach the camp with increasing frequency, the 4077th is still full with refugees and pri- soners of war. Fresh casualties pour in as both sides try to gain ground before the armistice. A deeply troubled Hawkeye has been sent away to the psychiatric hospital where Dr. Sidney Freedman tries to help him find the cause of his breakdown, which is associated with a tragic incident on a trip back from R&R at the beach. Other members of the unit are coping with the final days of war, and making plans to get out. Hot Lips' father is trying to find her a glamorous Army post. B.J. is determined to make it back for his daughter's birthday. Charles wants a plum appointment at a Boston hospital. Klinger worries about Soon-Lee's attempts to find her parents. The normal business of the camp is interrupted by a runaway Army tank that crashes into the compound and destroys the half-built latrine. With two results. First, Charles wanders off to relieve himself and stumbles on a group of Chinese musicians. They surrender and come back with him to the camp. Second, the enemy spots the tank and begins to shell the base. Father Mulcahy bravely ventures out under fire to release the POWs, a shell explodes near him, and he suffers a mild concussion. When B.J. examines him, he detects a hearing loss that Father Mulcahy begs him to keep from the rest of the company. The barrage continues as the unit fails to move the tank out. Hawk- eye returns to the 4077th and is called straight into the O.R. He is urgently needed because B.J. has received orders permitting him to go home. Charles learns that he has been appointed to him Boston hospital but quarrels violently with Hot Lips on discovering that she has pulled strings for him. He consoles himself by teaching the Chi- nese musicians a little touch of Mozart. Klinger, meanwhile, has brought back a reluctant Soon-Lee to the safety of the camp, al- though she is still determined to find her parents. He is obvi- ously in love. The pressure on the company is temporarily relieved when Hawkeye, who has coped successfully with his return to surgery, drives the tank into the 4077th's trash dump. But only temporarily. Fires started by incendiary bombs in the surrounding woods are visible from the camp and Colonel Potter orders evacuation proceedings. The Colonel's desperate plea for a relief surgeon is answered un- expectedly by the return of B.J., who was already one-third of the way home when the Army recalled him to fulfill the Colonel's staff request. He misses his daughter's birthday, but the company hosts a birthday party for an orphan with B.J. as the guest of honor. Klinger proposes marriage and is accepted by Soon-Lee. He is over- joyed. Charles, however, is not so happy when he loses his "orches- tra" to a relocation center. The end of the war is only hours away, but the casualties keep coming in -- among them Charles' flutist. Finally, the surgical teams learn of the immediate ceasefire as they operate on a group of desperately wounded soldiers and civilians. The war is over. At the noisy, joyful camp party that night, members of the company talk about their lives after the war. Colonel Potter looks forward to be- coming a semi-retired country doctor. Hot Lips declares she has opted for the States and a big city hospital. Klinger announces his engage- ment and says that he is staying in Korea to help find Soon-Lee's par- ents. Charles is still going to Boston, despite Hot Lips' "meddling." B.J., of course, wants to go home, yet refuses to actually say "goodbye" to the others. And Hawkeye? Perhaps, after all, he will not be going to the big city surgical post that he always dreamed of ... After Klinger and Soon-Lee marry and leave the camp in traditional Korean style, the other members of the company depart one by one. By now, the camp is a ghost town. Father Mulcahy leaves to start a new life ministering to the deaf. Hot Lips is kissed and hugged. Even her disagreement with Charles is reconciled. Charles himself exits with Rizzo in a garbage truck. Colonel Potter takes Sophie for one last ride before she is adopted by the orphanage. Finally, B.J. and Hawkeye go together on B.J.'s motorbike to meet Hawkeye's chopper. As Hawkeye looks down over the desolate camp, he sees a message B.J. has left on the pad: a GOODBYE marked out in stone. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks to: The cast and crew of "M*A*S*H" Troy Wood <tdwood@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> Mark Rosteck <ematias@csri.toronto.edu> Dean A. Dunn <dadunn@whale.st.usm.edu> Robb Miles <kmeter@knot.ece.cmu.edu> Samuel H. Edwards <edwards@pond.com> Tim Tompkins <timt@a3197tt.ssr.hp.com> Steve Halter <shalter@qualcomm.com> Robert E. Nelson <rnelson@nmt.edu> Bill Madison <bmadison@crl.com> "M*A*S*H The Exclusive, Inside Story of T.V.'s Most Popular Show" If this document is out of date, the latest version can be obtained from one of these sources: ftp://rtfm.mit.edu/pub/usenet/news.answers/tv/mash/guide ftp://ftp.uu.net/usenet/news.answers/tv/mash/guide.Z http://www.cis.ohio-state.edu/hypertext/faq/usenet/tv/mash/guide/faq.html Please send any corrections or new information to dkrause@uci.edu. -- **** Douglas Krause dkrause@uci.edu One yuppie can ruin **** **** University of California, Irvine your whole day. ****